


About a Boy

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Based off of the film "About a Boy", Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Family, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Light Angst, Lots of original characters I'm sorry, Love, M/M, Rom com vibes, Sirius Black is trying his best, Suicide Attempt, comedic relief
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21963406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sirius Black may have discovered the key to dating success: If the simple fact that they were single mothers meant that gorgeous women – women who would not ordinarily look twice at Sirius– might not only be willing, but enthusiastic about dating him, then he was really onto something. Single mothers – bright, attractive, available women – thousands of them, were all over London. He just had to find them.SPAT: Single Parents – Alone Together. It was a brilliant plan. And Sirius wasn’t going to let the fact that he didn’t have a child himself hold him back. A fictional two-year-old named Ned wouldn’t be the first thing he’d invented. And it seems to go quite well at first, until he meets an actual twelve-year-old named Harry, who is more than Sirius bargained for…
Relationships: Sirius Black & Harry Potter, eventual Lily Evans/Severus Snape, implied Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 15
Kudos: 28





	1. No Man is an Island

**Author's Note:**

> Sirius is an egotistical bastard, but he'll learn.

Who wrote the phrase, ‘No man is an island?’” asked the host on the telly.

Sirius Black flopped onto the sofa with a grunt, setting his mug on the coffee table gently “Jon Bon Jovi, too easy,” he mumbled under his breath.

And, if he may say so, the phrase was a complete load of bollocks. In his opinion, all men are islands. And now was the time to be one, the modern age was an island age, unlike a hundred years ago when you had to rely on other people. Back then, no one had televisions or DVD’s or videos or home espresso makers for that matter. He sipped his drink carefully. They didn’t have anything “cool” back then. Whereas now, you can make yourself a little island paradise. With the right supplies, and more importantly, the right attitude, any average fellow could be a magnet for young, Swedish tourists. Sirius smiled and sunk further into his sofa, his tropical paradise.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a slip of paper which read, “Krista” followed by a smiley face and a cell phone number he knew he would never care enough to read. Sirius crumpled the slip and tossed it into the bin across the room, returning his attention to the telly.

The man sat there, watching the obscure game show in a comfortable silence for a few moments before the high-pitched ring of the home phone grabbed his attention. Sirius didn’t bother standing up, letting the call go to voicemail. The voice of a young woman, with a sexy accent might he add, filled his flat. “Hi Sirius, it’s Krista. I haven’t heard from you, but I had a great time last night! So give me a call, okay?” The voicemail ended, but Sirius made no move to call the woman back. Instead, turning back towards his telly and sinking even further into his island.

He liked to think that he was that kind of island, he liked to think that he was pretty cool. He liked to think he’s Ibiza. 

* * *

Harry Potter stared up at his bedroom ceiling, with empty eyes.

There were people out there who had a good time in life, and he was beginning to realise that he wasn’t one of them. He just didn’t fit. He didn’t fit in at his old school, and he definitely didn’t fit in at his new one. He had heard that some kids were taught by their parents at home, but his Mum couldn’t do that unless he paid her to teach him. It was just Harry and her, and she went to work. She made 400 pounds a week. Where was he supposed to get that kind of money from?

Maybe if he was that child actor, Haley Joel Osement, he could pay her that much. Or maybe, if he was anybody but himself, he would fit in and not need to worry about homeschooling. If that meant being good at drama, forget it. Harry was crap at drama, he hated standing up in front of people.

So basically, he had to go to school.

His alarm clock let out a long ring, signaling that it was time to wake up and get ready for the school day. As if he had even slept.

He stood up anyways, already dressed in his school uniform, and walked out the door.

* * *

Sirius walked through his front door with his usual aura of confidence, throwing a flirtatious grin towards the occasional passerby, and twirling his keys around his pointer finger.

The sad fact is that, like any island dweller, from time to time, he had to visit the mainland.

He unlocked his silver Ferrari with an obnoxious double click and winked at a nearby blonde, before sliding into the driver's seat and starting the car up. He adored the silent whir of the engine, it sounded like pure money. The man inhaled, and drove away.

Later, at the “mainland”, Sirius sat with his legs crossed on a different sofa. One that was most certainly not his tropical paradise, but was not unfamiliar. He had a grimace on his face, his arms were crossed, not unlike a toddler. He didn’t enjoy his weekly visits to his childhood home.

He also didn’t enjoy the fact that his cousin was walking over to him holding what looked to be a goblin wrapped in a blanket. “Her name is Lyra, you can hold her if you’d like!” she exclaimed with a grin.

“That’s oka-“ before he could protest the child was being forced into his arms by his overly enthusiastic cousin, “well..okay, yeah got her. Lovely.”

The man held her awkwardly, not quite sure how the whole baby-holding thing was supposed to work, he settled for holding the babies head with one hand and the butt with another. “She’s um, delightful, isn’t she?”

She looked at her baby adoringly, “I know, isn’t she?”

“Mmm”

He was obviously uncomfortable with the idea of holding something, not only fragile, but alive, so his cousin took pity on him, taking the baby back.

There were a few moments of awkward silence, broken by Sirius mumbling a few incoherent phrases about how “this place is looking nice isn’t it?” and “the weathers been a tad strange lately.” But ultimately, the silence won over and the two stood in an uncomfortable silence.

“Teddy, Teddy, Teddy!” a man burst into the room, holding another kid in his arms, flying him around the room like Superman. “Say hello to Sirius, Teddy,” the man said with a smile.

Sirius gave the child a weak smile and nodded at his cousin's husband. “Hello Remus.” In return, the man brought him into a firm one-armed hug.That was another thing about the mainland, people tended to be very clingy. Sirius returned the gesture out of common courtesy but did so very cautiously, patting the other man on the back once or twice before pulling away.

Remus sat Teddy on the ground and waved him over to Sirius. “Go hug uncle Sirius, Teddy!” The man in question cringed internally, in his opinion, Teddy was the antichrist.

“Hello Teddy.” Sirius faked a friendly grin. A grin which was almost immediately wiped off his face as the boy blew a raspberry in his face and ran away giggling.

“Oh he’s lovely.” muttered Remus with a smile as the toddler ran off.

“Yes, lovely.” deadpanned Sirius, with a grimace.

“What about you Sirius, any desire for a family of your own yet?” asked Tonks cheerfully.

Sirius would rather eat Teddy's dirty nappies. But he wasn’t about to say that out loud.

“Not really.” he said instead, “I’m sort of all right as I am.”

“Oh please, Sirius.” Tonks drew out the word please, Sirius narrowed his eyes.

“What does that mean? “Please” what?” he countered.

“Well I mean,” she chuckled nervously, “look at yourself!” As it turned out, Sirius looked at himself quite often, and he very much liked what he saw, so he had no clue what she could mean. “You’re 38, and you’ve never had a job or a relationship that’s lasted longer than 2 months. I wouldn’t exactly say you’re okay. I mean, I would say you were a disaster.” Sirius was taken aback, “I mean, what’s the point of your life?”

“Bloody hell. You’re right, there probably is no point to my life, but thank you for bringing it up.” he gave a sarcastic smile. But Remus ignored his obvious annoyance with Tonks and brought up something completely off topic.

“Sirius, the reason we wanted you to come here today was, well, we wanted to ask you…” he cut off.

“How would you like to be Lyra’s godfather?” Tonks finished.

Sirius’s jaw dropped, but the pair didn’t seem to notice, standing there with their arms wrapped around each other, smiling.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Listen,” started Sirius, “I’m really, really touched.” He watched as their faces slowly fell before continuing, “But um, you must be joking. I couldn’t possibly think of a worse godfather for Lyra. You know what I’m like. I’ll drop her on her head at her christening. I’ll forget all her birthdays until her 18th, when I’ll take her out and get her drunk. I cannot stress to you enough how horrible of a godfather I would be. I mean seriously, it’s a very very bad choice.”

The silence from earlier had returned, “Well, I know, we know. I just thought you had hidden depths, Sirius.” stuttered Tonks.

“Oh, no. No. You’ve always had that wrong. I really am this shallow.” he said with a charming grin.

* * *

Harry didn’t know why his Mum insisted on walking him to school every morning. It’s not like he didn’t fit in already.

“Well, here we are.” sighed Lily.

“You know, you don’t have to walk me to school anymore now, Mum.” muttered Harry. “I know the way now.”

“But what if I like walking you to school?” countered his Mum with a frown. Harry didn’t have a reply to that, he wasn’t going to be the one to take away something she enjoys. Even at his own expense. He just stared at the cement, watching his shoes closely.

“Right.” his Mum said softly, fixing his scarf. “Who are you?”

“I’m me.” Harry deadpanned.

“And what are you not?” she asked.

“A sheep.”

"Right, and what does a sheep go?” He flushed as his mum bleated like a sheep, gathering stares. Harry nodded and smiled the best he could, before walking towards the schoolyard where the other students were gathered, talking before classes.

“Harry?” the boy stopped in his tracks. Turning back to look at his mum. Other kids were staring now. “I love you.” The children around him giggled, pointing, and attacking him with stares.

He inhaled sharply, “I love you, too.”

He turned back towards the rest of the schoolyard, the students laughed as he walked past.

“I love you Harry.”

“I love you!”

“Love you! Love you!”

“Look at him!” one kid exclaimed, causing the whole group to guffaw.

Harry lowered his head, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, blinking away the tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mishiskye) if you'd like.


	2. Single Mums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius discovers his preference for single mums, and Harry wonders why his mum is crying again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm looking for a beta, if anyone is interested you can either comment or contact me on my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mishiskye)

While Sirius couldn’t accept Remus and Tonks’ disturbing offer to become their child’s godfather, he did allow them to set him up with Angie, a rather beautiful co-worker of Tonks. So there he was, in the nicest restaurant in London, across from a gorgeous woman. They had however, being them, neglected to tell him one thing. 

“There’s something you don’t know about me.” Angie started carefully. 

“Yeah?” replied Sirius, albeit nervously, “Something… exciting?” 

Angie giggled shortly, “I think so, yes.” Sirius looked at her expectantly. She took a small breath, “I have a 3-year-old boy.” There were a few moments of silence, where Sirius gapped miserably at Angie, and Angier gazed worriedly at Sirius. 

Sirius, of course, wanted to throw his napkin on the floor, push over the table, and run. 

“Brilliant, I love kids!” Sirius lied through an inviting grin. “Yeah, I like messing about with them, you know? Doing kid things,” he continued “I’d have been disappointed if you didn’t have a child.” 

“Why do you say that?” Angie asked curiously.

God knows, thought Sirius. Mainly because it sounded smooth and winning. 

“Because I love kids so much. They’re so… lovely.” Internally, Sirius cringed. What in god's name was he saying? Idiot. Angie couldn’t be buying this rubbish. 

But she did buy his rubbish. 

And for the next few weeks he was suddenly “Sirius the Good Guy.” Her Kid, Ryan, took to him right away. Mainly because on their first meeting, Sirius took him to the zoo and held him upside down by his ankles. He wished relationships with proper humans were that easy. 

“You know, you are brilliant.” Angie had told him that day, rubbing his arm lovingly. 

And Sirius had come to realize, that with single mums, particularly the ones who’d been quite badly messed around and eventually abandoned by the father of their children, you came by comparison, well… 

“You are a wonderful person.” Angie whispered into his ear one night, a glass of red wine held tightly in her hand. 

“No,” Sirius had laughed it off, but was secretly quite pleased. “I’m not.” 

She ignored his protest to her whispered compliment, and threw her leg over his and crashed their lips together. 

He’d discovered that being a wonderful person, got you very lucky indeed.

But it was hard work being wonderful all the time. And eventually, he began to wonder whether Angie was exactly what he was looking for. 

For instance, one night she was late for the new IMAX movie because the babysitter had not turned up. “Sirius!” Angie had yelled from somewhere behind him. He put a smile on his face and turned to face her, giving her a short wave. 

“I’m so sorry.” she had said. 

“It’s all right! ” he had replied with a smile. 

That had pissed him off. 

“You okay?” he had asked with that same grin.

“Yes.” she replied, returning the smile. 

And there were deeper problems than that. She couldn’t stay at his place, and she didn’t have DVD or satellite or cable. So they were always stuck watching some crap, made-for-TV movie about a kid with leukemia. 

“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do.” apologised the doctor on tv, with the acting skills of a peanut shell. 

“Oh god! No God! No God please no. No!” screamed the mother. 

Angie’s head was on his shoulder, and she was laughing softly. Sirius merely gave the telly a blank, unimpressed stare.

He was going to have to end it. 

So there he was, in his signature I’m-breaking-up-with-you, blue v-neck. The shirt, and the restaurant, had made an appearance in over half of his past break up stories. 

But having been, “Sirius the Good Guy,” he didn’t relish going back to his usual role of “Sirius, the Unreliable Emotionally-stunted Asshole.” He sipped his white wine, nervously. 

“I’m Sorry!?” one woman had said, furious. “ _You’re_ breaking up with me? You…” 

“...self-centered bastard.” another had muttered. 

“I can’t believe I’ve wasted all this time with you!” another had said through gritted teeth, glancing angrily around the restaurant. 

“You useless, superficial loser...” that one had been wearing a hot pink boa scarf, he wasn’t too torn up about it. 

  
  


Sirius sipped his wine and looked at Angie carefully. “Look, Angi-” 

“Sirius…” Angie had started at the same time.

And then, something magical happened.

“I’m sorry.” Angie said quietly, a twinge of sadness laced her voice. “I’m not sure this is working out. It’s not you.” She took his hands into his. “You’ve been great, amazing actually. It’s me.”  
  
Sirius was dancing internally. 

“It’s my situation with Ryan and his dad. I’m not ready to launch into a relationship with anybody new.” Sirius didn’t say anything for a few moments, merely giving a few nods. “I’m so sorry.” She had tears in her eyes and choked on her words. 

Sirius squeezed her hands, “I think, I understand.” 

“You’re a wonderful, wonderful man Sirius.” she let the tears fall then. 

Sirius had never watched a woman cry without feeling responsible before. She even wanted him to forgive her. It felt amazing. 

“Listen, you don’t have anything to feel sorry about, really” he signaled the waiter for the check. 

So that was the end of Angie, but the beginning of a whole new thing. 

Single mums. 

Why hadn’t anyone told him about them before? Passionate sex, a lot of ego massage, and a guilt-free parting. There must be thousands of them, just waiting for a nice guy to sleep with and break up with. Fabulous, sexy, gorgeous single mums. 

* * *

  
  


Harry stared at his mum, who was currently sobbing over the kitchen counter. 

“Can I have Cocoa Puffs?” asked Harry, concerned. 

“No, it’s not Sunday.” choked out his mum, in between sobs. 

The crying had started again. And it scared Harry, there were a few weeks when she had stopped crying altogether. But now it was in the mornings. She had never done that before. 

His mum reached into a cabinet for a bowl, when she couldn’t reach the shelf, she burst into another fit of tears. 

Harry couldn’t figure it out. Nobody was dead. She had a job as a music therapist, which is kind of a teacher for sick kids. So there was enough money for food and everything. 

“Should I get my own breakfast?” asked Harry. He wasn’t sure what to do.

“No, I’m doing it. I can do it.” his mom said, still crying. She went to pour the milk, but missed the bowl. “Oh…” more sobs. 

Harry stared at her, through her frustrated tears she looked up and gave him a weak smile and took a deep breath. “So, you looking forward to school today?” she asked, swallowing her apparent sadness. 

Later, at school, Harry stared out the window. He never really listened in class, always lost in his own thoughts. Distantly, he heard his maths professor say “Now today, you’ll need to effect the decimal point when you multiply it by 10, 100, and 1,000.” 

Harry was tuned out at that point, he hummed the tune to the song his mum had been playing while making breakfast that morning. “Nothing to do but frown, rainy days and Mondays always get me down.” He was brought back to the real world by the sounds of the class laughing at him. He tore his gaze from the lot outside the window and saw the whole class staring at him giggling. 

“Thank you very much, Harry.” his professor said with a sigh. 

He just didn’t fit.

When class lets out, he doesn’t say a word to anyone, as usual. He made his way to the school yard, following the crowd of students. So much for not being a sheep. Honestly, he wished he made a better sheep. 

Kids were still laughing at him, but he didn’t mind much anymore. 

He made his way over to the other two misfits of the school. “Hello Hermione, Neville.” Hermione was sitting on the “Buddy Bench” with her nose in a book, Neville sat next to her, watching her read. “Are you going to computer club later?” he asked with a smile. 

“Um, I don’t know. Harry…” started Hermione, who was interrupted by a kick ball flying towards the trio. 

“Oi Madonna!” screamed Ron Weasley, “Go on, give us a song! You’d like that, wouldn’t ya?” 

“Spice girls or something, the three of them.” Ron’s friend Seamus guffawed. 

“Oh yeah,” snorted Ron, “ Hey, Spice Girls.” the boy took a step back and sent the kick ball flying towards the group once again. This time, the ball hit Neville in the chest, hard. “You made me lose my football.” The two boys walked off to find the stray kick ball, leaving the three alone. 

“Harry, we don’t really want you hanging around with us anymore.” started Hermione softly. 

“Why not?” asked Harry, upset. 

“Well it’s because of them,” reasoned Hermione, pointing at Ron and his group of friends. 

“They’ve got nothing to do with me.” 

“Yes, they do.” Hermione closed her book. 

“We never used to have any trouble with them before we started hanging out with you.” piped in Neville. “Now we get it every single day.” 

“Besides,” continued Hermione, “everyone thinks you’re weird.” 

“Only a bit though.” said Neville who was already feeling horrible.

“Oh.” Harry said quietly, “Okay.” Harry looked at his shoes, and breathed in through his nose. They were brown shoes, brown shoes, brown… he exhaled.

He didn’t look at either of them as he walked away. “Bye.” Harry heard Hermione say, followed by a softer “Bye…” coming from Neville. 

So there you have it. He was having a shit time at home and a shit time at school. He felt a rush of pain as Ron’s football smacked him in the side of his head. He’d like to say it didn’t hurt, but it really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, my only reasoning for making Ron the bully in this is that the bully in the movie was a ginger... 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, my update schedule will be pretty frequent as I'm on Holiday Vacation at the moment. Leave kudos if you're enjoying the story so far, they help.


	3. Harry, Sirius. Sirius, Harry

It was all very much deciding that single mums were the future, but the frustrating truth was that Sirius didn’t have any of their numbers. 

He was standing in the snack section of the grocery store, watching a blonde woman and her equally as blonde daughter out of the corner of his eye. Maybe Remus was right, he does have a thing for blondes. Not seeing any dads in the proximity, Sirius pushed his cart towards the two. Immediately turning back as a man made their way over to the woman. 

“Hey Dad.” said the daughter. 

“Hey.” said the man, resting his hand on her head. The not-so-single mum pushed the cart forward and the group was gone. 

Where did they hang out, single mums? 

Later, at the bus stop kiosque, Sirius saw it. It must have been a sign from the heavens. There it was, a poster that read “SPAT, Single Parents Alone Together, meet Fridays at 2 pm.” Sirius smiled like the grinch, and he may as well have been. It was practically Christmas. 

“I’m a single father, I have a two year old boy. I’m a single father, I have a two year old boy.” Sirius repeated it to himself as he walked towards the SPAT meeting place, hands in his jean pockets. “I am a single fucking father, I have a bloody two year old boy.” 

SPAT. 

This was exciting. A potential gold mine of single mums. He could see the beautiful creatures now, getting roaring drunk, forgetting their troubles, ready to rock and roll. 

In hindsight, maybe that’s the last thing he should have expected, as that’s the opposite of what faced him as he rounded the corner. 

“That was when I was seven months pregnant.” ranted one lady, Sirius wouldn’t call her a hag, but she sure looked like one. “By the time I had the baby, he was in Majorca with another woman. Not even the one he cheated on me with the first time.” She raised her voice at that last part, indignant.

The next person in the circle was a brunette woman with a pixie cut, “Well with me, it was the week before the birth. He said I got too fat.” 

“Mine was shagging his secretary,” piped in a ginger with a bangs that were just a smidge too short. “Such a cliche…” she sighed.

He could tell you one thing, men are bastards. After about ten minutes of listening to their stories, Sirius wanted to cut his own dick off with a kitchen knife. He glanced up, only to see that the rest of the women in the circle were gazing at him expectantly. “Oh!” Sirius chuckled, realizing it was his turn to speak, “Me. Yes, well… um… I have a two-year-old, Ned.” He wondered why the entire circle was comprised of middle aged women, but decided not to ask anything of it. He had a two year old boy to invent. “He’s got blue eyes and sort of sandy-coloured hair and he’s about 2’3.” He waited a moment to continue, letting the women in the circle aww for a bit. 

“And um, his mum left,” Sirius finished. The women muttered. 

“Really?” asked pixie-cut-lady. 

“Yeah.” Sirius replied simply. “Yeah, I mean obviously it was a very big shock because we were so happy, you know?” The circle seemed to nod in sync. “Sandra’s neurology practice was just up and running, and then one day her bags were packed, and my best friend was waiting outside in his Ferrari.” He didn’t mention that he also had a ferrari, though he had to bite his tongue not to. “Yeah. You know, the Modena? The one with the supercharged engine, where you can actually see the engine through the back window?” 

“You got dumped, then?” asked the hag from earlier, crudely. 

“Yeah.” but then repeated, “Yeah…” more solemnly. 

“Uh, may I ask, does your ex see Ned at all?” Sirius turned towards the woman who had asked, and for a moment, could say nothing. There she was, the single, hot mum he’d come for.   
  
“Well… sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” Sirius leaned forward. 

“Suzie.” the woman replied. She was blonde, damn, Remus was right. 

“Suzie…” Sirius repeated with a smile. “She doesn’t see much of him, no.” 

“How does he cope with that?” she asked again. 

“You know, he’s a very good little boy. Very, very brave.” Sirius was bullshitting on the spot now, he was shit with kids. He’d never even been in the same room with one for longer than twenty minutes. “They’ve got amazing resources, don’t they?” There were hums of agreement throughout the circle. “Just the other day I was thinking about my ex. And, he came crawling up, put his little pudgy arms around my neck, and he said, “You hang in there Dad.”” 

“God, that’s amazing for a two-year-old,” said Suzie. 

“Is it?” asked Sirius, he was really shit with kids. 

There was a collective nod from the group, but nobody seemed to doubt him. 

“Yeah but he’s very special. Very, very special. Sometimes I think, he’s the one taking care of me. Teaching me the ways of the world.” The women around him chuckled and awed. 

“Woof, sorry.” said Sirius shyly. 

The woman next to him reached over and patted his hand. 

“Thank you.” he managed. 

My god, what a performance, he had even fooled himself. 

They eventually started other activities, one of them being the classic trust fall, where Sirius went through extra effort to make sure he was paired with Suzie. 

  
He caught her, standing her back up with a “here you go, you okay?” 

“Yeah, perfect thanks.” she looked at him with a smile. 

“Trust me?” he winked. 

“Of course.” 

And by the end of the evening he had a date lined up. 

“Single parents alone together, single parents alone together single parents alone together! All for one and one for all.” the group chanted, holding hands. 

The problem was, he also had an imaginary two-year-old son.   
  


He pulled into Mothercare World, parking his Ferrari with a little more haste than necessary. He was most definitely out of place in the store. The other customers comprised mostly of pregnant women or very dad looking dads. Yet there he was, shopping in the car seat section wearing sunglasses and a jean jacket. 

He didn’t really put much effort into choosing a car seat, settling on a zebra striped one within the first ten minutes. After paying for the car seat, which was 200 dollar purchase, he bought a bag of potato chips and a juice box from the gas station across the street. 

Sirius wasn’t exactly sure how to explain to the occasional passerby why he was pouring apple juice onto a car seat and stomping on potato chips at 4 in the afternoon in a Motherhood World parking lot, so he didn’t. Merely giving any onlookers a nod. 

The date with Suzie was a SPAT picnic in Regent’s park, with everyone bringing their kids. Sadly, Ned couldn’t be there. His mum had called around and picked him up at the last second. 

“Oh, what a shame.” Suzie had said to that, genuinely, her daughter resting on her hip. “I’m sorry. This is Meghan by the way.” 

“Hi Meghan!” he had said, picking up Suzie’s stroller and carrying it to his car. 

“Oh, a friend of mine from SPAT isn’t feeling so great, so I said that we’d take her kid to the picnic, too. Is that all right?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, the more the merrier right?” The three headed towards Sirius’s car. 

“Come on slowcoach!” shouted Suzie to the kid they were bringing to the picnic. 

* * *

Harry hated that SPAT lot. 

His mum’s friend Suzie was fine, but now there was that wally that wanted to get off with her. 

* * *

“Harry, Sirius. Sirius, Harry.” Suzie introduced the two. 

“Hi there.” greeted Sirius. Harry just looked at that man. “Right.” Sirius said when he got no reply. “Pile in everyone. Look what a mess Ned made of the car seat.” his gaze may have lingered just a tad too long. “What a shame he can’t come.”


	4. The Dead Duck Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dead duck and a near death experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Suicide attempt, non-descriptive

When the four of them finally made it to the park, Sirius expected Harry to run off and play with the kids his age. He didn’t expect the boy to walk with them, never a step behind for nearly two full hours. 

“So, what do you do, Sirius?” Suzie asked, pushing Meghan’s stroller. 

“Me? Well…” There were already too many lies to keep track of, so he told the truth. “Nothing.” 

“Well, before then?” she persisted. 

“What, you mean before I did nothing?” 

“Yeah.” she smiled.

“I did nothing.” 

“So you’ve never worked?” she sounded confused, remembering his Ferrari. 

“I mean I’ve done the odd day here and there but, no,” he muttered. “Crazy, isn’t it?” he smiled. 

“Its…” she never finished her thought, she looked uncomfortable and pushed the stroller just a little faster. 

“Brilliant.” Sirius said to himself. Oh god he was going to have to tell her. “What happened, in fact, was that my dad wrote a song in 1958 and it’s quite a famous song and I basically live off the royalties of that.” 

“You know Micheal Jackson?” Harry asked, quite loudly from Sirius’ left. “He makes a million pounds a minute. That’s sixty-million pounds an hour.” The boy threw a hand full of dirt at a tree. 

“Well I don’t make a million pounds a minute.” Sirius laughed, giving the strange boy a look. “Nothing like, sadly.” 

“How much then?” asked Harry rudely. 

“Harry.” scolded Suzie. 

Sirius was beginning to wonder if they were going to be stuck with this weird kid all day.

“So what’s the song then?” Suzie asked to break the tension. When Sirius merely looked at her she continued, “Well if you can live off of it, we must have heard of it.” 

“It’s,” fuck, “Santa’s Super Sleigh.” Sirius watched as Harry and Suzie met eyes, grinning. Here we go again. Oh god please don’t sing it. 

They both started to sing, “Look who’s coming round the bend, It’s Santa and his reindeer friends, with a ho-ho-ho and a hey hey hey, It’s Santa’s Super Sleigh.” In truth Sirius wanted to simultaneously drown himself in the nearby pond and rip out his eardrums, but instead he laughed, albeit weakly. 

“I expect people do that all the time.” Suzie laughed. 

“Oh! No I think you two are the first!” he hoped the sarcasm in his tone wasn’t obvious. 

“Sorry. I don’t understand, how does that make you money?” asked Suzie a moment later, “Do carol singers have to pay 10%?” she laughed but Sirius didn’t notice. 

“Well they should yeah, but you can’t always catch the little bastards.” 

The group walked for a little while more, Sirius watching as Harry threw more dirt, or stopped occasionally to rip out fistfulls of grass. He was such a strange boy. Even the way he dressed reflected that. He was wearing a horrid jumper, with a little cloud emblem embroidered on the right breast and a rainbow embroidered on the back. Not to mention those shoes, outdated things they were. The boy looked like he stepped straight out of both a 1960’s movie and an 1860’s movie. 

Sirius tried not to make it obvious that he was staring, watching out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t deny that he was a judgemental person. As he was setting up the picnic blanket, he looked at Suzie. “So, how often do you look after him? Harry, I mean.” asked Sirius. 

“Oh every once and awhile.” she replied while helping him spread out the checkered blanket. “His mum’s a little off-color sometimes if you know what I mean.” 

“You call it off color,” said Harry, both adults jumped as they realized the boy was listening, “I call it nuts.” 

“Oh she’s not nuts Harry,” said Suzie, trying to appease the situation, “she just needs a weekend taking it easy. Look, we are going to have a nice picnic, and when you get home, she’s going to be rested up and ready to go.” 

While _that_ conversation was going on, Sirius was going through the picnic basket Suzie and Harry had brought with them. He pulled out something that looked like a rock. “My God, what the hell is that?” Sirius laughed. 

“My mum’s homemade bread.” said Harry flatly.

Sirius swallowed, “It looks pretty good,” the man said weakly. 

“No it isn’t. Its healthy.” replied Harry.

* * *

Harry stood at the edge of the duck pond, breaking his mums bread into pieces and feeding it to the ducks. He didn’t know how she expected him to actually consume the damn thing, he could hardly tear it with his hands, let alone bite into it. He struggled to get small pieces and eventually gave up all together. He looked at the loaf of bread in his hands and chucked it into the lake. He figured the ducks could just pick it apart themselves. 

He didn’t think that the loaf would hit one of the ducks head on, but when it did, he bolted. 

* * *

“You miss him, don’t you?” Suzie asked. 

Sirius looked at her for a second, “Who?” She didn’t say anything, merely looking at him flabbergasted, “Oh Ned! Yeah. Yeah, I miss him a ton.” Sirius was glad he was wearing sunglasses, so she couldn’t see his eyes. “He’d have loved this.” 

* * *

Harry speed walked down the sidewalk and towards Suzie and Sirius’ picnic blanket. He approached them hastily, “Suzie!” The boy saw the two adults look at him, Sirius with less kindness that Suzie. 

“What?” Sirius asked, harshly. 

Harry stuttered, “I-I think I killed a duck.” 

The three of them stared at the dead duck somberly, its head was underwater and its legs had floated above the surface. 

“I was only trying to feed it.” Harry said, he felt horrible.

“What's that? Floating in the water next to it?” Sirius asked, incredulous. It couldn’t be what he thought it was. “Is that, Is that your mums homemade bread? Bloody hell Harry, you didn’t have to throw the whole loaf. That would’ve killed me.” 

“Oi?” the three jumped and turned to face the voice, “You the one who was throwing bloody great loaves at the ducks?” It was a park security guard, he was a plump, older man with a white mustache. 

"Yeah, he was. But I’ve stopped him now.” Sirius told the guard. “You know, boys will be boys and all that.”

“So he killed it?” asked the guard, angry. 

“No, no, sorry. I misunderstood you. The duck was dead already. He was throwing bread to try and sink the body because of Meghan here who was getting upset” The group all turned to Meghan, who was sitting peacefully in her stroller, no sign of distress anywhere on her face. “Harry wouldn’t kill a duck, would you Harry?” 

“No.” said harry defensively, “I love ducks. Ducks are my second favorite animals, after dolphins. Dolphins can kill sharks with their noses.”

The adults said nothing for a moment, Sirius looking at Harry strangely. 

The guard broke the silence, grumbling “I’ll have to wade in there and fish it out.” 

“Listen I hope it’s not some sort of epidemic!” Sirius shouted towards the guards retreating figure. The man looked at Harry and smiled, a real sort of smile for the first time in a while. “I think we beat the rap there, mate.” He raised his hand for a high five, but Harry didn’t give him one. Sirius lowered his hand, “Right, well.” 

He did get left hanging, but he also saw the kids smile, and grinned to himself. 

Harry turned to the pond, where the guard was now trying to wade in and grab the loaf and the dead duck. “Harry!” he heard Suzie call. He ignored her for a moment, seeing someone waving to him from across the lake. 

“Mum?” Harry asked nobody in particular. 

But he blinked and she was gone, and Suzie was calling him. 

He ran off to catch up.

That day, the Dead Duck Day, was when it all began. Sirius drove them all to Harry’s house, meaning to drop him off first and get himself alone with Suzie he supposed. But Harry didn’t mind. When they finally arrived at his house, that bloke, Sirius, just followed Harry and Suzie in and Harry didn’t tell him not to. Afterwards, he realized that there was no way he could have been nervous just then, because just then he didn’t know there was anything to be nervous about. 

But then he put the key in the lock and opened the door… 

“Are you decent?” Suzie called to Lily as they all walked in. 

And a new part of Harry’s life started. 

There his mum was, half laying, half falling off of their living room couch, a pile of bile on the floor. She was still throwing up just then, Harry realized later. But in the moment, he could do nothing but stand still. Feet planted.  
  


Distantly, the boy heard Meghan crying.

“Jesus Christ.” exclaimed Sirius as he walked into the scene. 

“Oh my god.” Suzie cried as she knelt at Lily’s side. “Oh my god.” 

And yet amidst all the chaos, Harry stood still.

“Sirius, call an ambulance!” shouted Suzie, frantic. For once, Sirius did what he was told. 

“Harry, where’s the phone?” Sirius shook the boy’s shoulder. “Where’s the phone mate?” But Harry couldn’t speak. 

In fact, the question barely registered. All he could hear was the pounding in his ears and his mom coughing on the floor. And later, as Harry sat in Sirius’ Ferrari, trailing behind the speeding ambulance on its way to the hospital, Harry figured he may hear that sound for the rest of his life. 

The ambulance wailed. 

* * *

It was horrible, horrible. Sirius thought. But driving fast behind the ambulance was fantastic. 

* * *

“Well, she’s conscious.” Suzie told Harry, later in the lobby of the hospital. “She was okay in the ambulance. She was asking after you Harry.” 

Harry looked at his shoes once more, “That’s nice of her.” 

Suzie clicked her tongue and patted him on the shoulder, he despised the touch but didn’t say anything. “You know this has nothing to do with you, don’t you?” Harry was silent. “I mean, you’re not the reason that she… You’re not the reason that she’s here.” Suzie turned to face Sirius, who was paying absolutely no attention to the conversation. “Isn’t that right, Sirius.” 

The man looked up, his shoulder length hair was covering most of his face. When he saw the look Suzie was giving him he sat up straight, “Um, yeah, yeah that’s right.” 

Harry still said nothing. The two adults looked at each other, and then back at him. “I’ll go get you some water.” Suzie told Harry. 

Sirius’ eyes widened upon the realization that he was going to be left alone with the boy, “Um..” he started quickly, “I can get that.” 

“Oh no you’re okay!” Suzie dismissed, not seeing the panic in his eyes. That was part of the reason he loved his sunglasses so much, Sirius was an open book and the glasses acted as a mask. 

Sirius looked at the boy, who had an untraceable emotion in his eyes as he stared at the ground. He then looked at Meghan, the toddler seemed to be taunting him, looking unfazed as Sirius stared her down. Sirius was the one to break the eye contact. 

“So,” the man said to Harry, after some thought, “your mum’s going to be okay.” 

“Yeah, I suppose.” the boy said, with no emotion. “That’s not the point though, is it?” 

Sirius raised his eyebrows, “Right, you mean,” he fucking hated talking to children, “you’re afraid she might try again?” 

“Just shut up, all right?” Harry said this with an intensity Sirius had never seen on a kid his age before. The man rubbed the back of his neck, seeing Suzie approach with some water. 

“There we are, warm and flat.” said the woman. 

All three of them were startled by the sudden appearance of a nurse in front of them. “Are you with Lily Evans?” 

“Yes, I’m her friend Suzie.” she stood up, having just sat down. “This is Harry and Sirius.” 

“She’s recovering well, but we’re going to keep her overnight.” the nurse informed them. “So I’m going to get a consent form for Ms. Evans so the boy can stay with you two tonight.” She didn’t ask, merely assuming before walking away. 

“Right…” said Sirius. “So, my place or yours?” he asked with a laugh before shutting up at their blank stares. “Sorry, sorry.” he shook his head. 

Sirius helped Suzie load Harry’s overnight things into the trunk of his Ferrari before driving off to her house. The drive took ten minutes, but was completely silent, nobody said a word. After helping them unload, Sirius turned to Suzie and stated, “I should get back to Ned.” 

She barely acknowledged him, nodding and saying in return, “Yeah, I’ll take that,” grabbing the stroller from his grasp. 

“All right, well” he leaned forward and gave her a short kiss on the lips, one she returned. 

All in all, the date had been very interesting. 

“I’ll call.” said Sirius. 

But he wouldn’t want to do it every night. The man reached out and gave Harry’s shoulder a playful punch, “See you soon.” He smiled at the boy. 

The thing is, a person’s life is like a TV show. Sirius was the star of the Sirius show. And the Sirius Show wasn’t an ensemble drama. Guests came and went, but Sirius, was the regular. It came down to him, and him alone. If Harry’s mum couldn’t manage her own show, if her ratings were falling, it was sad, but that was her problem.

Ultimately, the whole single-mum plot line was a bit complicated for Sirius. He drove away.


	5. The Yeti and the Rainbow Jumper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay.” Harry said, not moving an inch. “But I’ll be back.” 
> 
> “Ooo,” Sirius mocks, “I’m really scared!” The boy looked at him for a minute, his green eyes full of emotion, before he turned and walked away. 
> 
> That’s the best he could come up with, “Ooo, I’m scared.” The man watched the boy walk away, looking at his rainbow jumper, before closing the door. But as a matter of fact, he was scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late chapter, it would've been up yesterday, but life happens y'know? Anyways, this ones extra long to make up for it!

Harry frantically straightened the house, though the majority of it was already perfectly clean, he was moving little objects here and there, none of the changes making much of a difference. He set the vase on the table carefully, admiring the bright yellow sunflowers and the white tulips. White tulips were his mum’s favorite. His mum was coming home today, and he wanted everything to be perfect. 

Harry was straightening a stack of already-straightened-magazines on his mum’s office desk when he saw it. Peeking out from beneath a copy of “The Quibbler” was a letter addressed to him, “Harry” it said in Lily’s sloppy cursive handwriting. He knew what it was. 

He took the letter with him, abandoning the task of straightening the stack of magazines, and sat at the dining room table. 

  
  
  
  
  


Later, as the boy watched Suzie and his mum get out of Sirius’ car and make their way towards the house, he felt many emotions all at once. Some part of him was angry at her, another happy she was alive, another, deeper part of him sad, and it felt as if his emotions were fighting for dominance. He didn’t know how to feel as he watched her. His mum was standing with her arms crossed, looking solemn. Suzie looked as if she’d rather be anywhere else but there, but Harry knew she was glad to be helping.    
  
The boy turned away from the window, instead opting to stand in front of the couch, he flattened his hair and straightened his sweater, waiting for his mum to walk in. When she finally did, Harry felt those emotions from earlier battling. Seeing her in front of him was overwhelming, he distantly registered that Suzie was talking to him, but he couldn’t hear a single word she was saying. He just watched his mum. 

Suzie smiled at him, and then turned and rubbed his mum's shoulder and brought her into a hug, which Lily hesitantly returned. Harry put his hands in his pockets as Suzie walked out of the room and as he heard the front door slam shut he blurted out, “I got the letter, thanks.” 

His mum froze, the words not registering for a second, before she understood what he meant, her head fell into her hands, “Oh my god.” she gasped, “I had forgotten.” 

“You forgot?” he asked, incredulous. “You forgot a suicide letter?” 

“Well I didn’t think I’d have to remember it, did I?” she bit back. 

Harry said nothing. 

His mum softened, “Did you read the part where I said I’d always love you?” 

“It’s a bit hard to love me if you’re dead, isn’t it.” Harry replied, there was the anger.

“I’m sorry.” she whispered. Harry looked at his shoes again. “I can understand why you’re angry Harry.” like hell she did, he wanted to say, but he held his tongue. “I don’t feel the same as I did yesterday, if that’s any help.” 

“What?” he asked, “It’s all gone away, just like that?” 

“Well, no but, at the moment, I feel better.” she gave him a smile. 

“”At the moment” is no good to me.” countered Harry “I can see you feel better at the moment. You just put the kettle on. But what happens when you finish your tea? What happens when I go back to school? I can’t be here to watch you all the time.” 

“I know.” she grabbed one of his hands, “We have to look after each other, the two of us.” 

Suddenly, Harry realized two people wasn’t enough. You need a backup. If you’re only two people, and someone drops off the edge, then you’re on your own. Two isn’t a large enough number. 

“You need three at least.” Harry said aloud. 

“Three what?” asked his mum. 

“Nothing.” Harry shook off his mum’s questioning gaze.

But Harry had a great idea. 

* * *

The important thing in island living is to be your own activities director. And Sirius found the key is to think of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour anyways. 

Taking a bath, one unit. Watching Countdown, one unit. Web-based research (\completely, one hundred percent pg content, most definitely) two units. Exercising, three units. Having his hair carefully disheveled, four units. 

It’s amazing how the day fills up. And he often had to wonder, to be absolutely honest, if he’d ever really have time for a job. How do people cram them in? 

He relaxed into the hairstylists touch as she ran her fingers through his hair, dishevelling it neatly. He almost groaned when his cell phone went off in his pocket. Sirius answered the phone, “Yeah, Sirius here.” 

“It’s Harry.” said the person on the other line. 

“Pardon?” 

“It’s Harry.” the voice repeated. 

“Harry?” Sirius thought about whether or not he knew any Harry’s, this voice sounded young. And then it clicked, “Oh,” his eyes widened, “Harry. Hi there. How did you get my number?” 

“From Suzie.” Harry replied, not elaborating. “I thought you might like to take me out for the day on Saturday?” 

“And, um, why did you think that Harry?” questioned Sirius.

“Suzie said we hit it off.” 

“Did she?” the man smiled. 

  
“Yeah. And you said “See you soon.”” 

“I said what?” asked the man.

“See you soon.” the boy emphasized each word, as if the man was daft. “The night you dropped us off. Remember? You said, “See, you, soon.””

“Well... Okay. This is soon alright Harry.” Sirius admitted irritably. “The thing is mate, my life is really…” he looked up at the lady dishevelling his hair, “...kind of hectic at the moment. So-” 

“Why,” Harry cut him off. “I thought you did nothing.”    
  
“Yeah well I’ve got, Ned, and stuff to look after.” Sirius said in return. Harry hummed. “Matter of fact, I am actually on my way to playschool just at the moment.” His hairstylist decided that moment was a good one to turn on the electric razor. 

“What’s that noise?” Harry asked Sirius. 

“That’s a lawn mower.” 

In the mirror, Sirius saw the hairstylist giving the man a strange look, but she kept quiet. 

“So, you know, just time-wise it’s not… it’s not well… tell you what, just hold the line real quick, one sec.” he looked at his hairstylist, “Hold on, one sec.” he told, her. She turned off the razor. 

But then Sirius thought, why not? Why shouldn’t he take the poor sod out for a meal? He could be Uncle Sirius. Cool Uncle Sirius, King of the Kids. 

He put the phone back to his ear, “Okay Harry. You’re on.” 

“I’ll come if my mum can come, too. She hasn’t got any money, so either we’ll have to go somewhere dirt cheap or you’ll have to treat us.” Harry replied. 

“Well listen, don’t beat about the bush, Harry.” Sirius muttered.

“Why should I? We’re poor. You’re rich. You pay.” what a snake that boy was, but there was logic in what he was saying. “You can bring your little boy if you like, I don’t mind.” Oh yes, Ned. Sirius had forgotten about him. 

“That’s really big of you.” Sirius grumbled. 

“Fine. Come around at half past twelve or something. Remember where we live?” asked the boy. When Sirius didn’t answer he kept talking, “Flat 2, 31 Godric’s Hollow Road, London, N12SF.” Harry recited quickly. 

“England, the world, the universe.” Sirius replied shaking his head mockingly, knowing the boy wouldn’t see. 

“Yeah.” Harry hung up without another word. 

“Harry?” asked Sirius, still on the phone. He hung up after a few moments of silence. 

* * *

Sirius caved in, and brought Harry and his mum to a nice, expensive restaurant for brunch. They sat in silence, with Harry and Lily reading their menus, and Sirius throwing glances at Lily’s disastrous jumper in ill-disguised judgement. 

“So-” started Sirius, “Lily, how are you? I mean, how are you feeling?” the man glanced at her stomach, eyes darting away quickly.

Lily and Harry glanced at each other and looked back at Sirius. 

“Oh, my stomach’s fine. Yeah.” piped up Lily, cheerily. “They pumped everything right out!” 

Sirius gave her a smile, albeit forced. “Great. Great.” 

“I must still be a bit barmy though.” the woman laughed, Harry didn’t even look up, but Sirius looked at her in alarm, “This kind of thing doesn’t go away overnight, does it?” she laughed loudly. 

Sirius did his best to laugh as well but he was sure it came off as a bit fake, “No.” he was very uncomfortable, “No, I suppose it doesn’t.” the man coughed, turning back to his menu. 

* * *

If Harry’s mum was going to get will to marry her, she’d have to quit making jokes like that. At least she looked good. Harry had her put in that nice, hairy jumper and those earrings she got sent to her from her friend that went to Zimbabwe. 

* * *

The kid seemed to think that this was some kind of date. 

As for his mum, she was clearly insane and appeared to be wearing some kind of Yeti costume. This had better be a quick one then, he had to make sure nobody ordered starters.

“I’ll ha-” Sirius started, as the waiter approached their table, but was immediately cut off by a very enthusiastic Harry. 

“I’ll start with the artichoke please.” Sirius stifled a groan, “Then I’ll have a mushroom omelet with fries and a cherry coke. Oh and a treacle tart for after, please.” Harry looked up at the waiter with a bright grin. Sirius’ heart warmed at the sight. 

“I’ll have the vegetable platter.” Lily said simply. 

Harry looked over to Sirius with that same, heartwarming smile, “We’re vegetarians!” 

“I’d never have guessed,” not a second later he said, “Um, steak sandwich please, mate. Thanks.” the man handed the waiter his menu. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw Lily giving him the death stare, and pointedly kept his gaze on the retreating form of their smokin’ hot, blonde waiter. 

* * *

This was going really well, in Harry’s opinion. The boy wondered if they were going to move into Sirius’ place or move into someplace new. 

* * *

“I heard he sang a good song,” sang Harry’s mum, playing the piano. Sirius was horrified. “I heard he had a style.” she continued, Sirius thought they should call it a pain-o. He knew of course, that the song couldn’t last forever, that he would soon be at home tucked up in bed. He knew it, but he certainly couldn’t feel it. 

He looked over at Harry, who was shaking his head to the beat of the song and smiling lovingly at his mother. It took every ounce of strength he had not to run out of the house when Harry joined in, “And there he was, this young boy,” Harry sang. Sirius must have been insane. All the man had wanted was a date with Suzie, and this was his punishment. 

“Strumming my pain with his fingers!” Harry and his mum harmonized, albeit poorly. “Singing my life with his words.” The worst part was when they closed their eyes. 

“Killing me softly with his song,” they sang, eyes closed, Sirius nearly gagged, “Killing me softly.” Killing him softly indeed.

“Come sing with us Sirius!” Harry said happily. 

“Um,” he searched for the words, he didn’t want to be the one to make the boy’s smile disappear, “I should really get going, thank you though.” It seemed that Sirius had chosen the wrong thing to say, as the light in the boys smile faded slightly. The man stood up, hesitantly, then left. 

  
  
  
  


That's the thing with charity, you have to mean things. You have to mean things to help people. 

Like the last time Sirius had volunteered to help out at a soup kitchen, he had very nearly made it up the stairs, turning back when he saw the people standing in line. 

Or the time he had worked the phones at Amnesty International. 

“Did you know, for instance,” the volunteer next to Sirius had said, “in Burma you get seven years in prison for telling jokes? Next time you laugh, I want you to think of Pa Pa lay, the Burmese stand up comedian...” 

“We’re at a critical stage in our struggle for human rights in Burma, which have been grossly abused by the ruling Junta.” another volunteer had reasoned, a greasy haired-man with a hook nose.

“We need your support more than ever. Together we can make a difference…” 

“You’re kidding?” Sirius asked flirtatiously, feet up on his desk, “And what does your boyfriend have to say about that? Wait a minute, wait a minute. You say you haven’t got a boyfriend? Talk about human rights violations…” he listened to the woman giggle. 

The greasy haired man gave him a look at that, Sirius nodded and gave him a thumbs up, the man nodded back. “Is that right?” Sirius continued, “You’re in the bath now?” 

The man's head snapped towards him, once more. 

  
  
  
  


You have to mean things to help people. 

Lily  _ meant  _ killing me softly. Killing me softly  _ meant _ something to her and look where she ended up. Sirius, he didn’t mean anything, about anything, to anyone. And he knew he was guaranteed a long, depression-free life. 

Lost in his thoughts, the man never noticed Harry, following him as he left the house. 

* * *

For the whole day, Harry followed him, always a few steps behind. The boy peered around corners, hid in alleyways, behind other people, he felt like a ninja. 

* * *

All the same, over the next few days, Sirius did have the strange feeling that he was being watched. Like a presence lurking at the back of his mind. And he didn’t like it. 

At one point, the man was grocery shopping, standing in line at checkout, when he felt that presence again. It was an unpleasant prickling sensation on the back of his neck. He looked around suspiciously, the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up. 

“Sir?” asked the cashier, who was now watching him turn 360 degrees and narrowed his eyes at customers around him. Sirius ignored the woman, certain he was being watched. He snapped his head towards the aisles and could have sworn that he saw Harry, the brat, jump behind a wall of cans. 

Later that same day, paranoid, Sirius watched the sidewalk outside of the liquor store he was shopping in. He caught a glimpse of that fucking horrendous jumper, the one with a rainbow and a pot of gold embroidered on the back, and jumped behind a cabinet. He knew it, the man watched the boy pass. 

He was relaxing on his couch after his day of doing nothing, when the doorbell rang. 

He didn’t know why he  _ wouldn’t  _ expect Harry Potter to be standing on his welcome mat. 

“You don’t have a kid, do you?” asked the boy, though it was obvious he already knew the answer. 

Sirius’ jaw dropped. A simple “What?” was all he could muster up. 

“You don’t have a kid, do you?” the boy repeated. 

“Pfft, of course I’ve got a kid!” exclaimed Sirius, “What are you on about?” 

“No you don’t.” Harry countered, voice calm, “I’ve been watching you and you don’t have a kid.” Sirius supposed that answered his suspicions. 

“W-” the man coughed, “What is it to you, anyway?” 

“Nothing.” Sirius relaxed a bit at that, until, “except you’ve been lying to me, my mum, and my mum’s friend.” Sirius stayed silent. 

“Can I come in?” asked Harry, already pushing past Sirius and walking into his flat. 

“No…” Sirius said, blocking his way.

“Why?” asked Harry.

“Cause’, I’m busy.” said Sirius, halfheartedly. 

“What are you doing?” 

Sirius and Harry stared at each other for a few moments as Sirius tried to think of what he had been doing. 

“I’m” he looked at the telly, still playing in his sitting room, “I’m watching TV.” 

“I could watch it with you if you’d like?” Harry smiled up at him. 

“Well,” he started, his gaze lingering on that smile, “that's very nice of you, Harry, but I usually manage on my own, thanks. Don’t you have homework to do or something?” Sirius asked the boy. 

“Yeah!” Harry exclaimed, startling the man, “Do you want to help me?” the boy asked sweetly. 

“No that’s not what I meant.” he mumbled under his breath. “I meant, why don’t you go home and do your homework?” 

Without missing a beat, Harry piped up, “I’ll do you a deal. I won’t tell anyone that you don’t have a kid, if you go out with my mum.” Well the boy really was a snake then wasn’t he? Sirius raised his eyebrows at that suggestion. 

“Why would you want your mum to go out with someone like  _ me _ ?” Sirius asked. 

“I don’t think you’re too, too bad.” Harry replied. “I mean, you told lies, but apart from that, you seem okay. And she’s sad, I think she’d like a boyfriend.”

Harry looked up at him, “Well, you know I can’t just go out with someone because you want me to, Harry. I would actually have to like the person as well.” 

“What’s wrong with her?” the boy asked, defensively. His eyes were narrowed. 

“No, there’s nothing wrong with her!” Sirius exclaimed, “That's just… the system. That's how it… For Christ’s sake, I’m not talking about this with you. Just, go!” Sirius was getting frustrated now. 

“Okay.” Harry said, not moving an inch. “But I’ll be back.” 

“Ooo,” Sirius mocks, “I’m really scared!” The boy looked at him for a minute, his green eyes full of emotion, before he turned and walked away. 

That’s the best he could come up with, “Ooo, I’m scared.” The man watched the boy walk away, looking at that damned rainbow jumper, before closing the door. But as a matter of fact, he was scared. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mishiskye) for story updates, and to be friendos! 
> 
> Kudos make me smile


	6. The Not-So-Invisible Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry isn't invisible, no matter how much he'd like to be.

True to his word, Harry did come back. Sirius was laying on the couch once again when his doorbell rang. He knew who to expect this time, so he didn’t move. What he didn’t expect was for Harry to ring his doorbell a bloody million times. “Ring. Ring. Ring-” Sirius stood and opened the door, his hair was disheveled, as usual, but now it seemed less deliberate. The man narrowed his eyes at Harry. He gestured for the boy to come in, giving up. 

The boy smiled and walked into his flat. Sirius slammed his door shut and followed him in. 

“Okay well, that’s it. So Tim, Goodbye.” a man on the telly said to his guests. “Jill, goodbye. Carol, goodbye. Goodbye!” he said, turning to face the screen. “And from me, arrivederci. Bye- bye.” 

Sirius and Harry sat on the man’s sofa, watching the telly in complete silence. As the show on the telly ended, applause from the TV audience echoed through the otherwise silent sitting area. 

Harry sat up suddenly, “Alright, thanks. See you.” the boy held out his hand for a handshake. Sirius looked at it for a moment, before taking the hand and shaking it hesitantly. Harry stood, grabbing his backpack and making his way towards the front door. Sirius watched him go, listening as the front door shut behind him. 

The next day, Harry returned.

“Hello, everybody. Welcome to the game of Countdown. You remember yesterday, Carol, I revealed to a grateful nation that our guest, Peter Pettigrew…” Sirius tuned out the telly as the doorbell rang. He stood, and opened the door, where Harry walked in without another word. Sirius stood, confused for a moment, before shutting the door. 

It became a routine of sorts. Sirius would open the door for Harry, and the two of them would watch Countdown for an hour or so and then the boy would leave. 

Sirius hated it for the first couple of days, he would smoke and nurse his raging hangover while Harry laughed loudly at the telly. Eventually, he found comfort in the boys presence, and he soon learned to laugh with the boy. 

Sirius became so used to the boys presence that eventually, Harry didn’t need to ring the doorbell anymore, as Sirius now opened the door before Harry had the chance to. 

It went on like this for a while, Harry seemed to grow more and more comfortable in Sirius’ presence. It annoyed the man occasionally, when the boy would grab something from the fridge without asking Sirius beforehand, but he was secretly glad he had someone to keep him company. Not that he was lonely of course. What an absurd thought. 

* * *

“Mum?” Harry asked, “Did you always know I was going to be a vegetarian?” His mum looked up curiously, locking the front door. 

“Yeah, of course I did.” She told him matter-of-factly. “I didn’t just decide on the spur of the moment because we had run out of sausages.” Lily laughed softly. 

“Did you ask me if I wanted to be a vegetarian?” Harry asked softly.

“What?” laughed Lily, “When you were born? No. I do the cooking and I don’t want to cook meat. So you have to eat what I eat.” She messed his hair lovingly. 

“But you don’t let me go to McDonalds either.” Harry stated. 

“Is this premature teenage rebellion?” His mum looked at him. Harry looked at the ground, and listened to her sigh, “Look, I can’t stop you from going to Mcdonalds, I’d just be disappointed if you did.” Harry looked up then, but still said nothing. 

They walked for a moment or two more before Harry spoke up, “Don’t worry mum, I won’t go to McDonalds.” He continued his walk to school, Lily trailing behind him. 

  
  
  


After a few visits, Sirius seemed to think he had to ask Harry serious questions. But Harry really knew he really wanted to watch “Xena: Warrior Princess” in silence. 

“So uh, how’s it going at home then?” Sirius asked with his mouth full of popped corn. 

“You mean my mom?” Harry asked in return, the boy was laying down on the couch with his feet on Sirius’ lap. 

“Yeah.” Sirius said, swallowing the popcorn. 

“She’s alright thanks.” Harry said quickly. 

“I mean, you know, she’s…” Sirius didn’t need to finish that sentence.

“Yeah, I know. No, nothing like that.” 

“Does it still bother you then?” Sirius had his eyes glued to the telly but Harry knew he was paying more attention to him than to the movie. 

“Does it bother me?” Harry asked himself that same question every night before he went to bed, he never got a straight answer. 

_ “Are you decent?” Harry remembered Suzie yelling, Meghan crying loudly in the distance. He remembered seeing his mum laying there, in his sitting room, he remembered the feeling that washed over him in that moment.  _ He thought about the Dead Duck Day every single moment. Every single day. That’s why he went to Sirius’ instead of going home. 

“A bit. When I think about it.” Harry knew the real answer. 

Sirius looked at Harry, a strange look in his eyes. The man wasn’t particularly well-known for caring about others. The opposite in fact, but he felt something for Harry, some strange emotion he had never felt before. He wanted to say all of this… “Fucking hell.” he settled for instead. 

  
  
Harry didn’t know why he swore like that, but it made him feel better. It made him feel like he wasn’t so pathetic, like it wasn’t pathetic to feel scared. 

  
  
Sirius wouldn’t make the mistake of asking Harry about Lily again. Harry was clearly so screwed up about it, and unfortunately Sirius could think of nothing to say that would be of the smallest value. Next time, Harry could talk to Lily, or a counselor, or anybody capable of saying anything more than an obscenity. Sirius was taken out of his thoughts by a string of familiar piano notes. 

The man came to a complete stop, his shopping cart leaving skid marks on the grocery store aisle titles. “Aw shit it can’t be.” The man exclaimed, earning some strange looks from a few fellow customers. 

“Look who’s coming round the bend, it’s Santa and his reindeer friends,” the voice of his father sang. It was November-the-sodding-19th. Six weeks before Christmas and they were already playing the bloody thing. He closed his eyes in anger and frustration, opening them only to see his dad, or what looked like his dad, standing in the aisle. Sirius blinked again, but the man was still there, looking at a bottle of whiskey carefully. 

“Dad?” Sirius asked. But he blinked again and the man was gone. Of course he was gone, he was dead. All that was left of him was that stupid bloody song.

  
  
  
  


“What was your dad like?” Harry had asked him one afternoon. 

“A bit sad really.” Sirius had explained to the boy, “You know, he wrote one crap song that turned out to be a massive hit and then spent the rest of his life trying to write a better one.” The man lit his cigarette and took a hit. 

“Do you ever want to write songs like him?” Harry had asked him, those innocent green eyes boring into his very soul. “Is that what the guitars for?” 

“No.” Sirius said simply. 

“So, that’s just there to look cool?” the boy looked confused. 

“Yeah.” Sirius replied, he never really did like to talk about his father. 

Harry merely nodded and brought his attention back towards the telly. There was a moment of silence, “I like Santa’s Super Sleigh.” the boy then hummed the tune. “Hmm hmm hmm-” 

Sirius sighed with a smile, taking another hit of his cigarette. He grabbed the TV remote and pretended to shut the humming off. Harry stopped humming and laughed silently, the kind of laugh where you didn’t make a sound, but your shoulders just shook. 

* * *

The next day at school, Harry was humming the song on his way to his locker. Harry hated school, he had no friends, and even his teachers thought he was weird. He was about to go down the spiral staircase that led to the junior high wing when Ron Weasley screamed, “Oi, Madonna!” Harry didn’t hesitate to take off in a sprint. “Come here!” the boy shouted with a laugh. 

Seamus Finnegan let out an ugly guffaw and chased after him, Ron hot on his tail. “Madonna!” he laughed, “Sing us a song Madonna!” 

“We’ve got something, come ere’!” laughed another one of Ron’s friends. Harry felt something sharp hit his cheek and he ran faster, breathing heavily. A few more objects were thrown at him, but they didn’t stop chasing after him. 

* * *

Sirius was watching a movie when his doorbell rang frantically, Sirius walked over to his front door, hearing kids laughing and shouting. He opened the door to a handful of marbles being thrown at him, and Harry ducking and running inside. There was a group of boys gathered outside his door shouting and laughing cruelly. “Oi!” he screams at them as another handful of marbles are pitched at him. The group of boys stop when they see Sirius looming over them in anger. 

“Who are you?” one of the braver boys asks. 

“Who am I?” Sirius yells, “Bugger off is who I am, scram! Go on, piss off!” He watches as the boys run off in fear. 

A minute later, inside his flat, Sirius looks at Harry. “So.” Harry looks down at his hands. “Who are they then?” 

“Who?” Harry asks and Sirius doesn’t hold back his scoff. 

“Who? What do you mean “Who?” The ones trying to embed marbles in your skull.” Sirius exclaims.

“Oh them.” Harry says with a sigh, still looking down at his hands. “They’re just a couple of kids that are in my year. They started following me after school.” 

“Does this happen often?” Sirius asked, concerned. 

“They never chucked marbles before, they just thought of that.” 

“I’m not talking about the marbles! I’m talking about the kids trying to kill you!” he puts his hands on Harry’s shoulders. He won’t let Harry shrug this one off. 

“Yeah, they give me a hard time.” Harry says softly, looking up at him with those eyes. Those damned eyes. “You know, about my hair, and my clothes, and singing, and stuff.” 

“And what? And singing?” Sirius feels as if he’s going to explode. 

“Oh,” Harry looks down again, face flushing, “Sometimes I sing aloud without realizing.”

“That’s not a brilliant idea, is it?” he doesn’t know what else to say. 

“I said I did it without noticing didn’t I?” Harry says defensively. “It just happens!” a stray tear runs down the side of his face, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “I’m not going to do it on purpose, am I? I’m not stupid, you know.” 

“Well my advice is to keep out of people's way.” Sirius isn’t good with giving advice, but he doesn’t tell Harry that. “Try to make yourself invisible.” 

“How am I supposed to be invisible?!” Harry asks, on the verge of tears. “Is one of the machines in your kitchen an invisible machine? I don’t think so.” Sirius puts one of his hands on the boys shoulder, “I just try not to think of it, that’s all.” Sirius looks at him, “It happens and I wish it didn’t, but that is life, is it not?” He takes a deep breath, “There’s nothing I can do about it.” 

“No.” Sirius says suddenly. “There is something  _ we  _ can do about it, Harry.” The man points at him, determined. “You’re coming with me. Come on.” The man grabbed Harry’s hand and wiped his tears, making the boy stand up. “You are coming with me, and I’m going to make this better. Please, Harry. Trust me?” And Harry did. He trusted the man so much more than he’d like to admit. 

“Of course.”


	7. Velcro: a Revolutionary New Technology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Velcro is a difficult mechanism, no matter how revolutionary.

Harry was worried Sirius was going to take him to Headmaster Dumbledore’s office. But instead, he took him shopping. 

“I don’t get it.” said Harry as Sirius dragged him into the shoe store. 

“We’re starting with your feet, Harry. I can’t make you invisible but I can make you blend into a crowd.” Sirius told him. Those ratty old brown shoes did him no favors, he stood out like a sore thumb, though he supposed that was more Lily’s fault than Harry’s. That damn hippie. 

Sirius picked out a simple pair of velcro trainers for Harry, and couldn’t help but laugh as Harry looked at the strips of velcro in wonder. “I don’t know how to tie them. They’ve got these funny strappy things!” Harry exclaimed and Sirius nearly fell over. 

“It’s called velcro.” Sirius breathed, choking on his laughter, “It’s a revolutionary new technology.” 

He watched as Harry tugged and pulled at the strap of velcro to no avail. It was honestly quite depressing how isolated the boy was from the rest of society. Lily wasn’t a horrible person by any means, but Sirius often wondered what Harry’s life might have been like with another parental figure. “For Christ’s sake, it’s not that hard.” he bit out in an attempt to distract himself from his own intruding thoughts. The man bent down and buckled the strap for the boy, “Alright, wait a minute, it is a bit hard,” he said as he mimicked Harry in his frustrated tugging at the straps. 

“Everything alright?” a voice said and both heads shot up. Standing above them was a fit blonde woman, a worker judging by her uniform. Harry eyed Sirius warningly, but Sirius paid the boy no attention, fixated on the blonde lady. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Sirius winked, and the lady flushed. Harry couldn’t help but roll his eyes. 

“Pretty trendy, your old man, isn’t he?” the worker continued, still blushing. Harry giggled while Sirius spluttered incomprehensibly. 

The worker helped them figure out the velcro and left them to themselves, Sirius still indignant.

“There. You think you look cool, don’t you?” asked Harry, hands on his shoulders. 

“I don’t know.” replied Harry, looking at himself in the mirror. It wasn’t that he thought he looked strange or weird in any way, he genuinely didn’t know what “cool” was supposed to look like. He eyed his reflection carefully, before a shy smile melted onto his face. Maybe he did look a bit cool. “Do you think I look cool?” Harry asked. 

Sirius met his eyes in the mirror, and he smiled. “Yeah, Harry. I think you look cool.” 

Harry’s shy grin widened as he was pumped full of a newfound self-confidence. “Yeah!” Harry bounced away, leaving Sirius to bask in the feeling of accomplishment that washed over him. He was the reason for that smile. He watched as Harry strutted his stuff up and down the shoe aisle. 

“That’s right Harry, you got the walk. That’s really cool.” He joined the boy in swaggering up and down the aisle. “Brilliant, high five.” He held up his hand for a high five but Harry brushed past him. One step at a time, “Yeah.” 

Sirius was suddenly hit with an extraordinary rush of well-being. So this is what people meant by a natural high. And it only cost £60. He had made an unhappy boy temporarily happy. And there wasn’t anything for him in it at all. He didn’t even want to shag Harry’s mum, in fact, his nose wrinkled at the very thought. 

* * *

It was raining. 

There he stood, barefoot and freezing on his own doorstep. It was funny to think that just a few hours ago he had been pumped full of self-confidence. He didn’t shiver as the rain soaked him to the bone, he stared at his brown socks. His shoes were gone. They took his shoes. 

Thunder rumbled around him and he let the tears fall, he sobbed. 

His front door opened to reveal his mum, “Harry!” she beckoned him inside but he stayed put, still sobbing loudly. She gave him a once over, her gaze stopping at his shoeless feet. “What happened to your shoes?” she asked him softly.

“They stole them.” Harry said simply, and his voice shook. 

His mum grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him inside and out of the rain. She grabbed a hand towel from their kitchen and began to dry his hair, cupping his face and looking him in the eyes. She sighed when he gave no indication that he was going to tell her what happened. “Why would anyone want to steal your shoes?” she pushed, wanting answers. 

Harry could see he was going to have to tell the truth. But the problem was the truth was going to lead to a lot more questions. 

“They were nice ones.” Harry answered, not meeting her eyes. 

She looked at him in confusion, “They were just ordinary, brown lace-ups.” 

Harry gulped, “No they weren’t. They were cool new trainers.”    
  
She stopped towel drying his hair and looked him in the eyes once more, “And where did you get ‘cool new trainers?’” 

Yeah, she had loads more questions. 

Harry refused to meet her eyes, “Sirius bought them for me.” 

“Sirius? The guy who took us for lunch?” she asked.

“Yeah.” he said in return, “He’s sort of become my friend.”

“He’s sort of become your friend?!” she demanded, getting all the wrong ideas. 

She kept repeating the last thing he said. Except she shouted it, over and over. Harry was sure she was misunderstanding the context. 

“I go round his place after school.” Harry piped in nervously. She stared at him before doing the same thing once more. 

“You go round his place after school?! What do you mean you go round his place after school?” she repeated.

“Well you see, he doesn’t really have a kid.” She took a deep breath, inhaling furiously. 

“He doesn’t really have a kid!” she yelled. 

“Can I play computer games n-” she grabbed his arm, pulling him back towards her and looking at him with a dangerous intensity. 

“Where does he live?” she ground out. 

Harry breathed carefully, looking at her with caution. “He’s not there at the moment. He’s out to dinner.” he said quickly. 

She threw the towel at the ground and pushed the two of them out the front door. 

~~

Tonks had asked him to dinner for one of her “pep talks,” though they usually left him feeling more down than when he walked in. 

“You will end up childless and alone.” she told him, maintaining full eye contact that made him slightly uncomfortable.    
  
Sirius glared at her, cigarette in hand, “Both fingers crossed, yeah.” 

Tonks glared right back and went on a rant about the importance of family that he immediately drowned out, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

Neither of them were aware of the threat that was currently dragging her child inside the restaraunt by the ear. 

“You must have a lot of courage,” Tonks continued, her mouth full of chicken salad. 

“And why is that, Andromeda?” she sighed at the use of her full name but looked at him seriously. 

“Most people need something in their lives to keep them afloat,” she told him, “and you have absolutely nothing.” she laughed, but they both knew she was concerned, “Doesn’t that scare you?” 

“Do you know what you want?” asked the waitress, who had approached the table mid-conversation. 

Sirius was still in shock from the moment of realization his cousin had given him and he took a second to process the question. “Oh,” he jerked, “Yes, I do, I’ll have the steak…” he began, only to be cut off by a familiar voice. 

“What the hell are these little after-school tea parties about?” demanded Lily, who was currently standing behind him, wearing what resembled a thneed and holding Harry by the ear.

Once more, Sirius took a moment to process what the hell was going on and merely looked at her for a moment before coming to his senses. “Hi. Sorry?” he asked, “What did you say?” 

She raised her voice even louder, “Well I was just wondering why a single, childless man would want to hang out with a twelve year old boy everyday?” Sirius spluttered as her question brought on prying eyes, he flushed at the accusation. 

“Wait a minute, you didn’t tell your mum you’ve been coming around?” Sirius asked Harry, ignoring the shocked eyes of his cousin. Harry’s eyes widened.

“I think I forgot.” he muttered, taking a step towards the man, only to be stopped by his mums arm. 

“Tell me what?” she looked at him, disgusted, “What are you doing with my son?!” she yelled, and all conversation in the restaurant came to an abrupt stop. Sirius looked around at a the curious eyes of the strangers in the room and grew angry.

“Wait a minute. What exactly are you implying here?” Sirius asked the woman, hearing Tonks gasp at the implications. 

“Well I’m not suggesting anything.” she yelled.

“I think you are.” Sirius countered, offended. “You were suggesting that I’ve been…  _ interfering  _ with your son.” he let out an uncomfortable laugh.

“I’m simply asking why you entertain twelve year olds in your flat?!” the two women sitting at the table behind him whispered furiously, glancing at him. 

“My god.” Tonks laughed across the table. 

“Oh my god.” the waitress drawled, having been witness to the entire fiasco so far. 

Harry stood still, wide eyed. Sirius knew Lily, this was not Harry’s fault. He gave the boy a comforting smile, knowing he must be filled with anxiety at the moment. 

Lily watched the exchange and the fire in her eyes only grew. “Well!” she exclaimed, “What do you have to say for yourself?!” her voice cracked. She had one hand on her hip, the other was shaking at her side. When Sirius said nothing, still shocked, she yelled once more, “Well?”

Sirius looked at her, “Don’t  _ well  _ me!” he screamed back in frustration, “Don’t  _ well  _ me about this for Christs sake!” he slammed his hands on the table and stood up, “He comes over uninvited every night of the week! And do you know why?” He was seething. “Because he’s having the shit bullied out of him at school! And you,” he pointed at her, “haven’t had a clue. You’re sending him out there like a lamb to the slaughter! He’s been taken to pieces every night of the week, you daft, fucking hippie!” He took a deep breath. 

“I think you’re being a bit melodramatic here. Harry is doing fine…” Harry tuned out their fighting, lost in his own thoughts. 

It was strange, Sirius had it right, mum didn’t. It was supposed to be the other way around. 

“...Maybe you haven’t had very much contact with kids before.” His mum finished, giving Sirius the death eye. 

“Well I used to be a bloody kid! I used to go to a bloody school! And I know the difference between a kid who can’t settle down and a kid who is just plain miserable! Look at him for Christ’s sake!” Onlookers gave the boy a once over and agreed with the man silently, “Don’t accuse me of being melodramatic. This coming from a woman who tried to…” 

Before Sirius couldn’t finish that sentence and regret it, Harry screamed the first thing that came to his head at the top of his lungs. “COWABUNGA!”, and their argument stopped. Both adults stared at Harry. 

“What’s the matter with you?” Sirius asked Harry. 

“Nothing.” Harry said. “I just felt like a shout.” 

“Jesus what a family.” Sirius muttered, hearing a soft grunt of agreement coming from Tonks, who was an unfortunate witness to this whole thing. 

“Sirius.” he turned to face the new voice, a man in a black turtle-neck was standing there with his arms crossed. Sirius had to hold back a chuckle, the man in question was bald and reminded him very much of Steve Jobs. “You’re disturbing the other customers.” Their waitress from earlier was still standing next to the table, looking simultaneously bored and interested in what was going on. 

“It’s fine, I’m sorry. We’re done.” he rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

“Ok so you’re not um-” Tonks cut herself off before she could finish, staring down at her plate of chicken salad silently. 

“What?” asked Sirius, offended. She gave him a look. “No, I’m not! No I’m not.” He turned to face Lily, who was still seething, “Look, don’t worry about it. I will not open the door for Harry again, okay? I’ll be glad to be rid of the pair of you, frankly.” He sat down, facing the waitress. He tried not to feel bad when he met eyes with Harry, who looked nothing short of devastated. “Go on, bugger off.” The waitress took out her notepad and gave him a forced smile. 

“Sorry.” he breathed, ignoring Lily’s death glare. Apparently, she didn’t enjoy being ignored because she pulled out a chair and flopped down next to him. Sirius looked at her in confusion. 

“So that’s it, is it?” asked Lily. “You’re just, out of his life,” she snapped her fingers, “like that.”

“Excuse me?” he said. 

“Let us say, you’re right and I’m wrong,” Lily continued. “Let’s say there’s this whole world going on for Harry that I don’t understand, and somehow, miraculously, you do. Well, what are you going to do about it?” she asked him. 

Sirius felt a strange pang of hurt in his chest, “Well, I’m not going to do anything. He’s none of my business.” he forced out.

“Oh, God.” Lily laughed, “You, my good sir, are a selfish bastard.” 

“That’s what I keep telling him!” Tonks piped in, and Sirius looked at her in betrayal. She laughed, “He always puts himself first.” 

“But I’m on my own.” Sirius countered, softly. “It’s just me. I’m not putting myself first, because there’s nobody else.” admitting it hurt more than he would like to admit.    
  
“Yes! There is, there is somebody else. There’s Harry. You’re involved now!” Lily exclaimed. “He keeps coming around to your bloody house. I- I understand you’ve come to his life for a reason. You can’t just shut him out. You can’t just shut life out. No man is an island!”    
  
Sirius recoiled at the phrase being used against him. “She’s right you know.” said Tonks, taking his hands into hers. 

“Yeah, she is.” the waitress said.

“No!” Sirius choked on his words. He was happy living as an island, he had it made. It was the life every man should wish for. “She’s wrong! She’s wrong… Some men are islands. I’m a bloody island! I’m bloody Ibiza.” He felt tears welling up. 

“What are you talking about?” Lily asked him, not yelling. 

“Do you want to come over for Christmas?” Harry asked with a mischievous grin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is stupidly late, I'm very aware. It was midterms week, and as much as I love this fic my AP euro grade is a bit more important. (#GrowingUpWithStrictParents) Anyways, this chapter was twice as long to make up for its lateness, I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> ps. Comments make my day


	8. A Very Vegetarian Christmas Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very late and I apologize for that. At least now I have, at the bare minimum, two weeks of free time because of the coronavirus epidemic. Sorry again ~ hope you enjoy.

No, he did not want to come over for bloody Christmas. He did not want to spend Christmas with Miss Granola Suicide and her spawn. Sirius had always thought that what you did with Christmas was sort of a statement about where you stood in life. Sirius was going to spend Christmas the way he always did. Watching the telly whilst getting stoned. 

Of course, things in life can’t always turn out the way one might initially plan. And so, there he was, buying Harry a christmas present. He stared at the wall of movies carefully, he could assume that Lily closely monitored the movies Harry watched, most likely forcing him to watch things rated for small children rather than for teenagers. Keeping this in mind, Sirius studied the wall of horror movies intensely, keen to choose the most graphic movie possible. 

“Look who’s coming round the bend-” Sirius’ head snapped up, searching wildly for the source of the music, but it was to no avail. “It’s Santa and his reindeer friends, and they’ve got the right of way…” 

  
He wasn’t exaggerating when he said that he despised that song with the entirety of his being. If he never heard that bloody song again, it would be too soon. 

  
Grumbling, he snatched the goriest horror movie in sight and started for the check out. On his way there, something caught his eye. It was a shelf full of CD’s, there was metal, rock, pop, and everything in between. Sirius smiled, he knew what he was getting Harry for Christmas.

  
  


Later at home, Sirius sat in his living room alone, in the dark. Frankenstein played loudly on the telly, the fluorescent light from the screen flooded into the sitting room ominously. He had a beer in one hand and a joint in the other, he took a long hit and came to a stunning realization. He might have been content with this life before, but there was something about this way of living that left him feeling empty, though he didn’t quite understand why.

“Before you came… I was all alone.” said the actor on the telly, “It is bad to be alone.” 

“Alone, bad.” Frankenstein’s monster repeated monotonously. 

Sirius took another hit, exhaling slowly. 

“Friend good, friend good, friend good!” yelled the monster. 

Sirius took a sip of his beer and stared blankly at the telly.

* * *

The good news was that it wasn’t  _ just  _ him, and Lily, and Harry. The bad news was, well…

“So,” started Sirius, awkwardly, “you’re Harry’s dad?” 

The man sitting cross-legged in the armchair across from him looked nearly identical to Harry, same black rat’s nest of a haircut, same round glasses, same charming smile. The only difference was the eyes. Harry’s eyes came from the hippie. 

“Yeah,” he said slowly, “I guess so. And this is my girlfriend, Linsey.” He reached over and grabbed the hand of the woman sitting next to him. She was a red-head who looked nearly as barmey as Lily. Sirius raised his eyebrows and did his best to resist the urge to turn and face Lily. So Harry’s dad had a type. There were quite a few things similar about the two, from the name to the fashion sense. Sirius eyed Linsey’s neon yellow blouse, which had spider shaped buttons pinned sporadically. 

“Oh.” Sirius replied simply. 

Harry’s dad then gestured to an older woman sitting to his left, “And this is Linsey’s mum, Martha.” 

Sirius stared at the woman for a moment before giving her a tentative smile and a short wave. “Hi there.” 

Once all of the introductions were finished the adults in the room sat in complete silence, attempting to look anywhere but at each other. Sirius tapped his foot on the wooden floors, picking at his fingernails. James, Harry’s dad, coughed awkwardly and looked at Linsey. Linsey was staring into space, smiling absently. 

Sirius watched Harry as he sat on the floor in front of him, shaking his Christmas presents happily, and he couldn’t help but smile softly. The boy unwrapped the present quickly, tossing the scrap wrapping paper across the room haphazardly.    
  
“Ooh, socks!” Harry exclaimed excitedly, holding up the blandest white socks Sirius had ever seen in his life. “Thanks dad!” 

James nodded at Harry and smiled. “That’s okay.” 

Sirius had to hand it to the kid, he could be enthusiastic about some truly crap presents. 

He picked up his next present, shaking it softly next to his ear. To his surprise, the present did make a noise and he tore the wrapping paper off excitedly. The boy gasped with a bright grin, “A tambourine!” Sirius internally cringed as he turned to Lily, “Thank you mum!” Harry then turned to him, “Isn’t that cool Sirius?” 

“Yeah!” he told the boy with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, positive his raised eyebrows had given his true thoughts away. “Yeah, that’ll… come in handy, yeah.” 

  
Harry’s mum nudged the boy fondly, “I saw it at the shop and I thought, ‘that’ll be perfect!’ Though maybe you could perform it at the school concert? You know, get a pop group together. Make some friends.” Sirius suddenly choked, causing all eyes in the room to turn on him. “Something wrong Sirius?” 

Sirius merely nodded, taking note of the look in Harry’s eyes. “Maybe, mum.” the boy said simply. 

Lily looked at Harry for a moment before leaning in and grabbing his shoulders, “When you sing, it brings sunshine and happiness into my heart.” Sirius didn’t bother to hide his cringe at that. After all that had happened with his mum, Sirius knew there would be nothing, not even the fear of bullying, that would be able to stop him from performing in the concert now. 

“Thanks mum.” he said, fire in his eyes. Sirius glanced over to the rest of the people in the room and noticed that even Linsey seemed a bit uncomfortable. 

He coughed drawing attention away from Lily and Harry and back towards him, “And, this one’s from me.” He reached over and grabbed his present, handing it to Harry with a smile. 

Harry took the present and unwrapped it slowly, Sirius didn’t think he would ever forget the look on his face when he saw it “Aw! Brilliant!” he exclaimed, and Sirius was happy to note that his present received double the enthusiasm of everyone else’s gifts combined. The man smiled even brighter when the boy asked, “What is it?” 

“It’s a CD, Harry.” Sirius laughed. “By Mystikal, they’re cool, you’ll like it.” 

“And what kind of music is Mystikal?” piped in Harry’s mum.

“It's sort of uh, world music…” Sirius explained, Lily didn’t look impressed.

Harry opened the CD and read one of the songs from the list, “Shake ya ass?” 

“... slash, rap kind of thing.” Sirius finished, avoiding eye contact with Lily who looked like she wanted to do something to  _ his  _ ass. 

“Shake ya ass?” asked Martha, voice shaky. “Is he Moroccan?”

“I’m afraid we haven’t got a CD player.” said Lily, looking smug. 

“It’s great anyway though!” Harry chirped. 

“No, I know you haven’t got a CD player,” Sirius replied, reaching behind the couch, “So, uh I got you one of them as well.” He handed the box to Harry, who looked up at him in awe. 

“You got this for me?” he asked softly.

Sirius nodded, watching as the others in the room shifted uncomfortably, most likely knowing they got the boy some shit presents.    
  
“What a lucky boy…” muttered Martha. 

“Look mum!” Harry yelled, shoving the box in her face. Instead of her signature death eye, Sirius received a smile from the woman in question, which caught him by surprise.

“Open yours, Sirius!” the boy practically threw a small gift wrapped box at Sirius.    
  
“All right!” Sirius said, “Thanks a lot.” In hindsight, he should have expected it. Judging by the suspicious grin the boy was sending him, it was a wonder he hadn’t realised it sooner. 

He tore off the wrapping paper only to see a small book titled, “The Single Parents Handbook.” He stared at the gift in his hands for a moment, remembering “Ned” and Spat.    
  
“Harry,” Sirius asked, looking up at the boy, who was grinning like a madman. “Is this a joke?” 

“Yeah.” Harry said with a smile and a giggle, to Sirius’ surprise, Lily was laughing as well. 

“It’s not bad.” he told the boy. In return, Harry giggled and stared at the CD in his hands. 

“Hi! Sorry, I’m dead late!” yelled a familiar voice, letting themselves in. Sirius froze, recognizing who it was. “Have I missed anything?” Suzie said as she walked into the sitting room. 

“No not at all! Merry Christmas!” Lily told her, standing to give her a hug. 

Suzie smiled and waved at the people in the room, until she saw Sirius sitting there, obviously trying to make eye contact. “Hey…” he started, voice cracking slightly. “Long time, um, no see.” He smiled. 

She glared at him, remaining silent. 

Sirius coughed, “So, uh, where’s Megan?” 

“At her dads. Where's Ned? At his mum's for Christmas?” Obviously she knew the truth about Ned, she hadn’t taken it very well, and it seemed as though she would never let him live it down. He didn’t have anything to say, so he decided to say nothing at all, merely staring at her in awkward silence. 

After a while it became too much to handle, “Well, yeah. No. I should probably go shouldn’t I?” 

“You could go pose as Santa, try and shag some carol singers.” Suzie deadpanned. 

“Are you a professional Santa?” asked Martha. “How lovely.”

“Right.” Sirius said, “That's it. I’m off.” He reached for his coat. “Thank you very much, it was great.” 

“Suzie has every right to express her anger, Sirius.” scolded Lily. 

“Yes.” Sirius replied. “And she’s expressed it. Now I have a right to bugger off. Thanks a lot, bye.” He said, heading towards the front door. 

“Wait!” Harry screamed, standing up quickly. “He’s my friend, I invited him!” he told his mum. “I should be able to tell him when to go home.” 

“I haven’t  _ told  _ Sirius to go home, Harry.” Lily retorted, “Suzie is angry, as she has every right to be, and she’s telling him so.” She put her hands on her hips. 

“She’s right Harry,” Sirius piped in, “Just leave it, okay?” 

“All he did was make up a kid for a few weeks!” Harry yelled, “God, that's nothing. So what? Who cares? Kids at school do worse than that everyday!” 

“The point is Harry, Sirius left school a long time ago. He should have grown out of making people up a long time ago.” She still stood firmly with her hands on her hips, but she seemed a bit softer now. 

“That’s for sure.” Suzie muttered.

“It’s not  _ fair  _ to gang up on him!” Harry shouted. “He’s been a lot better behaved since then. He bought me trainers, he lets me go round to his house even if he doesn’t want me to, and  _ he  _ knows what a kid needs!”    
  
Lily gasped at the implication that she was a bad parent. “What!?” she shouted back, “Expensive footwear and obscene music!? Look. If there’s something you  _ really  _ need then  _ we  _ can talk about it.” 

“No we can’t, because it’s not really a discussion, it's an argument and  _ you  _ always win.” he replied, “Why don’t you just tell me what to do?” 

“Because I want you to think for yourself!” she cut him off, furious. Both of their faces were growing a bit red. 

“Okay! I am thinking for myself. And  _ I  _ want Sirius to stay! It’s not like he’s the only one who ever did anything wrong! Remember how we met Sirius? Remember why?”  _ Oh no _ thought Sirius. It felt as if the temperature in the room had dropped twenty degrees. It was obvious what Harry was about to say and Sirius knew him well enough to realize that he would regret it immediately, and it would leave more than one person hurt in the end. “It’s because you-” 

Sirius cut him off, “It’s because you threw a bloody great loaf of bread at a duck’s head and killed it, basically.”    
  


“Pfft-” Suzie let out a loud guffaw, whilst all heads turned to face Sirius, who was still standing by the door. 

“Excuse me? What's this about a duck?” Lily asked, laughing only because Suzie was laughing. 

“Are we having duck?” piped in Martha, who most likely had hearing problems, “Delicious!” 

The room fell into laughter and, for now, it seemed like the crisis was averted. 

Of course, they were  _ not  _ having duck. Instead, they had a nut loaf with parsnip gravy. 

Though, as he sat there wearing a paper crown, surrounded by people he would otherwise never want to be seen with, he had a strange feeling. 

He was enjoying himself. He had never really enjoyed Christmas before. Sirius’ mother used to make him sing Santa’s Super Sleigh in front of a collection of inebriated aunts and uncles, just to get at his dad, he thought. But Christmas at Harry’s, he was ashamed to say, gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling. And he held that feeling directly responsible for the strange events that followed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, this work is based off of the film “About a Boy,” which can be found on Netflix. Comment if you see any grammatical errors, I’m not beta read so I miss things sometimes. Speaking of betas, if anyone is willing to beta, let me know! 
> 
> Please leave kudos, they help! (Comments make me smile.)


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